


Icha Icha Debonair

by megyal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Community: kakairu_kink, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-14
Updated: 2009-09-14
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:39:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megyal/pseuds/megyal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/364.html?thread=56940#t56940">this prompt</a> at <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/"></a><strong>kakairu_kink</strong></p><p>Kakashi might seem a little OOC, but I REALLY liked the prompt and tried to match it closely. It's such a great prompt, honest.</p><p><b>ETA:</b> [Aug 2013] <a href="http://relgn.tumblr.com/post/58243323792/kakashi-stopped-suddenly-because-iruka-had">FANART</a>, compliments of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/naverlands">naverlands</a>!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Icha Icha Debonair

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/364.html?thread=56940#t56940) at [](http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/profile)[](http://community.livejournal.com/kakairu_kink/)**kakairu_kink**
> 
> Kakashi might seem a little OOC, but I REALLY liked the prompt and tried to match it closely. It's such a great prompt, honest.
> 
> **ETA:** [Aug 2013] [FANART](http://relgn.tumblr.com/post/58243323792/kakashi-stopped-suddenly-because-iruka-had), compliments of [naverlands](http://archiveofourown.org/users/naverlands)!

The princess moaned breathlessly, completely sated as the infamous ANBU, Kishu, slid from atop her nubile, pale body. She sat up quickly, reaching for his strong arm.

"Are you going to just leave me like this, my love? After our glorious night together?" She murmured, her lovely lips bending into a small pout as he evaded her slender fingers. He dressed in the deepest shadows, eyes glittering at her; she hadn't been able to see his face at all, but she had felt it underneath her fingers, his strong cheekbones and surprisingly soft lips.

"Will we see each other again?" she asked, pulling the sheet over her small breasts; she knew that it wasn't possible, but she still had to ask. "Kishu-san?"

She startled as his gloved hand touched her face. "We'll see when we'll see," he answered cryptically and she shivered, melting at the muted power beneath his low voice. The window slid open silently and her wide-eyed gaze was fixed on him, his frame silver-edged with the moonlight. His cape fluttered in the wind, mimicking the movements of her heart.

"Goodbye," he murmured. "All your enemies have been dealt with, Princess. I leave you in good hands."

She ran to the window as he disappeared from it, watching him leap from roof to roof.  


 

"Boss, we want dinner," Pakkun said gruffly and Kakashi moved the book from his face... about a millimetre or so. "Boss. I know you're still reading that book."

"I'm paying attention to you," Kakashi muttered as he read the line _Kishu raced towards the thick of battle, the faces of his fellow shinobi displaying relief at his presence_. "I'm hearing every single word you say."

"We want dinner. Food. Meat."

"Oh, I see."

Pakkun's sigh was heavy and the book moved down a little more.

"Why weren't you all born with opposable thumbs?" Kakashi complained, not tearing his gaze away from _Icha Icha Debonair_, which was probably one of his most favourite Icha Icha ever; this was his sixth read, and he could quote some parts by heart. "You could go out and get food and feed yourselves."

"You're kind of our master," Pakkun pointed out. "That means you're supposed to be _responsible_."

"And get us food!" Urushi muttered from the door. "We're starving."

"I don't want to go out," Kakashi sulked. "Normal people make me nervous. I don't know what they're up to and they're not attacking, so I can't figure out a defence and counter-strike."

"Ugh! _You_ make _them_ nervous, silly!" Ūhei said officiously as she pushed the other two out of the way and stared Kakashi down. Kakashi just stared back; it took more than hungry ninken to ruffle his feathers.

"I'm so hungry," Bull rumbled. "I could eat a shinobi."

"Me too," Biscuit whined piteously and Kakashi finally swung his legs out of bed, putting on clothes to go on the street. He had to put his clothes on in a very specific manner, ending with the tilted hitai-ate; then he had to make sure that his pictures were hanging properly on the wall and that his other sandals were properly lined up. He was checking to see if the floor-mats were aligned perfectly, when two of the dogs grabbed onto the ends of his sleeves and hauled him to the front door. Biscuit followed with his wallet, nudging it into his hand.

"And don't come back," Ūhei threatened, "unless you have steak."

"I might have left the stove on," Kakashi wavered.

All the dogs bellowed as one: "GO GET US OUR FOOD!"

Kishu's sword clashed with that of the samurai; he leaned back, almost touching the ground as the samurai's blade slashed at his throat. Lunging forward, he grasped the other man's sword-arm, hauling him forward and out of balance. The samurai went sprawling to the ground, the bamboo leaves whispering in the wind as he rolled onto his back.

Kishu's sword was a steady threat to the skin of his neck; there was a sultry laugh from the samurai.

"You are indeed as fast as the rumours say, Kishu-sama," the samurai said, pushing up his own mask. Brown eyes and long dark hair were revealed as he tossed the white painted mask to the ground. He came up onto his elbows, challenging the sharp edge of Kishu's sword; Kishu pulled back his arm so that the smooth tanned neck would not be sliced, but he kept his weapon fixed on the other man. "Are you also as handsome as the rumours claim?"

"I wouldn't presume that about myself," Kishu answered, a smirk in his voice. "It would be up to you to say, I would think."

"To be able to say so, I would have to see your face. You have seen mine."

"And you are handsome yourself," Kishu said honestly. "But there is no need to see my face."

"We could call a truce," the samurai purred, moving one hand to place on his chest, pulling at the fastenings. "I can show you much more... and you can show me your face."

Kishu inclined his head. "That is," he mused, "a _very_ interesting offer."  


 

"Kakashi-san," the butcher said with a wary grin as he wrapped the meat and placed it into a clean burlap-bag, with the name of the butcher written on the side. He also placed a large amount of scraps and bones. Kakashi paid, nodded brusquely and then paused, staring at the nervous butcher.

He was supposed to say _something_; all of the jounin had been forced to take etiquette classes before the Sandaime had died, because they were, according to the Third, 'representatives of their Village', and should be properly polite and well-polished. Gai had done very well in those classes and counted it as a Victorious Challenge against his Cool Rival, mainly because the etiquette tutor had told Kakashi that he _really_ shouldn't say the first thing that came to his head all the time.

"Look," Kakashi had pointed out, "if a lady asks me about her make-up and I feel she looks like a clown, then I will tell the truth."

He'd been joking, honestly, but Gai had rolled his eyes in a theatrical manner, and Ebisu, the etiquette-sensei, had heaved a long-suffering sigh.

"Kakashi-san, sometimes you need to be a bit more tactful." He had given Kakashi a slightly disappointed glance. "You of all people should know that."

Kakashi had shrugged; ever since _Icha-Icha Debonair_ had been released, with Jiraiya-sama's not-so-mysterious dedication on the front page (_for my Number One Dedicated Reader; this one is all yours_) everyone had been led to believe that the suave, silver-haired Kishu was based completely on Kakashi.

Granted, Kakashi _did_ help a princess overcome a rebellion in her country, but he had barely said a word to the young woman, moved by her ethereal beauty and deep love for her people; and there _had_ been a very handsome samurai who had expressed interest in him, but again, Kakashi really had a huge problem with talking to people who were striking, smart and strong in their own way; it was just that he was very attracted to those traits. Perversely, he didn't want them to get close enough to figure out that, behind the mask and the enormous talent, was a young man who, if he wasn't on a mission, would really rather stay in bed all day and preferred to have a very stringent timetable if he had to go outside (get up, make sure the apartment was clean, breakfast, read Icha-Icha, go visit Obito, read Icha-Icha, eat, remember to teach something to someone, read Icha-Icha, go home, read Icha-Icha, eat something else at some point, sleep). Jiraiya-sama had obviously been diplomatic with the truth himself.

Kishu of the Hounds was about four hundred times more suave than Kakashi would ever be; for example, like now, instead of staring at the poor nervous butcher, Kishu would incline his head politely and drop a few encouraging phrases about the quality of the meat and how he would definitely return for more.

"Thank you," Kakashi said flatly. "I'll be back. Probably."

The butcher looked slightly mystified at this. Kakashi wandered off, looping the handles of the bag over one arm and going back to reading. He had very good peripheral vision out of his uncovered eye, and he could see the supermarket just up ahead. He needed cereal... and toilet-paper. And soap. And chicken. And--

"Hello, Kakashi-san," a curious voice said next to his elbow and Kakashi went warm all over. Not for the first time, he was grateful for his mask, because that voice always made him blush; it belonged to Iruka-sensei. Iruka-sensei, who had a really wonderful smile and a weird sense of humour and a brain that ticked at an impressive rate; seriously, Kakashi didn't have enough defences up against him right now.

"Hello. Excuse me, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi muttered to his book. "But I have shopping to do."

"Oh, I'm very sorry for disturbing you and... your _Icha-Icha Debonair_," Iruka said a tone of voice that was rapidly cooling. Kakashi chanced a quick look out of the corner of his eye. Iruka was still walking beside him, staring up ahead. "Kishu is a very interesting character."

"You've _read_ it?" Kakashi asked, his eyebrows lifted high.

"Who hasn't? I mean... it gives everyone a chance to see underneath the underneath," Iruka answered, now looking out of the corner of his own eye at Kakashi. Kakashi hoped his eyelashes weren't on fire, he felt that hot. "Kishu is... quite suave."

"Yes."

"A hit with the ladies."

Kakashi made a noncommittal one-shouldered shrug.

"And the men, too. He's very open with his... affections."

Kakashi stopped walking and stared at Iruka's back as the other man continued on for a few steps. Iruka turned, his expression tight around the eyes. Kakashi blinked; Iruka couldn't... no, he couldn't believe that Kakashi was really like Kishu, could he? Kishu would happily sleep his way through the entire Fire Country if he wasn't saving lives and kicking ass. Kishu would charm a man in this corner and be in another corner in five minutes, licking a woman's ear until she melted. He was the only openly bisexual leading character in the Icha Icha series; Jiraiya had been delighted to find out that Kakashi didn't have a preference one way or the other, and had written this in with great glee, spurring outraged complaints from some fans... and increasing Jiraiya-sama's popularity, especially with young women of a certain demographic.

Kakashi could never be like that, going from person to person in such a manner; he was actually a little embarrassed about that particular chapter, in part because he wasn't quite sure what section of the ear to lick to induce such melting (and he was the kind of person who liked to know every detail), and mostly because his personality would only allow him to place all his attention on one person at a time. That one person would get _everything_ he had... which was why he wasn't in a relationship right now. He knew that he would overwhelm a person with all of himself.

Except... he was pretty sure that Iruka, a person who spent the better portion of his life controlling rampaging herds of mini-nin, could handle his attention with ease. The thought of that sometimes made Kakashi a little flustered.

"I--" Kakashi started and fell silent for a long moment. Iruka was looking at him with a closed gaze, those brown eyes steady on his face. "You should come to my house today and have dinner."

Wow, _smooth_. Kishu would have stepped into Iruka's personal space and tilted his head as if he was about to slant his lips against Iruka's. He would have probably said, in a low murmur, "Why, Iruka-sensei, do you want my affections to be open to _you_?"

"Is that an order, Jounin-san?" Iruka asked him coolly. "Because if it is, I don't really fall in line so easily. No matter how compelling a person is."

_Stop being so attractive, please_, Kakashi thought at him desperately. He liked defiant people, _so much_.

"I'm not compelling," he said shortly, because he always got a little breathless around Iruka, and then stepped around the other man. "It was just an invitation to eat."

Fingers curled around his arm and Kakashi stared down at the tanned fingers against the dark material of his vest. Iruka's hand was warm and Kakashi just stared at the shape of it, noting the short fingernails and the small scars on each finger, the marks of a teacher who had to protect small children from harming themselves with sharp edges.

"I'm sorry," Iruka said, his hand sliding away. "I... yes. It would be very nice to have dinner with you today. I will be there." There was something a little resigned in the way he said it, though. Kakashi gave him a confused smile, his visible eye arched tightly and then pulled a very hasty escape. Not his finest moment, but he couldn't stand looking at Iruka's intent brown eyes for a moment longer.

Kishu waited on a branch, poised and ready for action. He could sense his colleagues all around him, waiting for his command to move out. He raised one finger and someone landed beside him silently.

"Kishu-san," Mariko whispered in his ear, her lips brushing against the warm curve of it. "We're ready for the first strike."

Kishu nodded, ignoring the press of her chest against his arm. It was a promise, he knew that, but he had a mission to complete right now.

Afterwards, at his own compound, he would take Mariko to his lavish quarters and create a comfortable flame between their bodies as he--  


 

"THERE IS SOMETHING BURNING," Ūhei announced from the kitchen and Kakashi scrambled up from bed, stumbling over a few dogs along the way. He checked the pots and breathed a sigh of relief. As usual, Ūhei was being obnoxious, because none of the food was scorched. Well, not too badly, anyway.

"I didn't want you to spoil it," she sniffed at him as he glared down at her accusingly. "We haven't had anyone else in this place for dinner since... since _never_, and we want to make a good impression."

"I'm perfectly capable of making a good impression without your help," said Kakashi and the sceptical canine silence spoke volumes. He turned off the flames and was going around the apartment for the fifteenth time, making sure that everything was in its place, when a quick knock sounded at his door.

He ran to open it, the dogs baying and galumphing around in excitement (except for Pakkun, who wisely hid in a cupboard), and opened the door to stare at Iruka-sensei.

"Oh... I'm over-dressed. I think." Iruka blushed, tucking some of the loose strands of his hair behind his ears. His hair was out of its high ponytail, falling past his shoulders. He was also dressed in a beautifully simple yukata, looking completely different from his normal, everyday sensei self. Kakashi was still in the shinobi-issue dark shirt and pants; there was a stain on his sleeve.

"No. You're... fine."

Kishu would have said, "Iruka-sensei, you got all dressed up for me?" But Kakashi's brain was on lockdown right about now and couldn't dredge up even a _charade_ of being suave. He stepped aside, eyeing the graceful line of Iruka's back as he bent to remove his sandals.

Kakashi introduced the dogs. "You already know Pakkun, he's in a cupboard somewhere. That's Urushi, the big one is Bull, Ūhei, Guruko, Akino--"

"Why does he have on sunglasses?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi shrugged. "He wanted to be a Seeing Eye dog, but he refused to accept the fact that the dogs aren't the ones that wear the shades."

"Makes me look cool," Akino growled. "You _said_ I looked cool, Kakashi!"

Kakashi waved a hand. "Anyway. That's Biscuit and Shiba."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all," Iruka said politely. "I didn't know Kakashi-san had so many companions. I mean. Not doggy ones, anyway."

He gave Kakashi a curious look out of the corner of his eye. Kakashi eyed him in return and Iruka flushed, ducking his head.

"You smell really nice," Biscuit said dreamily and Iruka grinned down at him, bending to scratch the dog under his chin. Biscuit always got a lot of attention because people thought he was cute; also, Biscuit was as suave as Kishu, apparently, because in no time he was in Iruka's arms, being tickled and cooed over. Kakashi glared at him; Biscuit simply looked smug.

"Traitorous mutt," Kakashi whispered at him as his little head lolled on Iruka's shoulder.

"Did you say something?" Iruka asked, turning to look Kakashi in the face. He was suddenly very close, his eyes wide. Kakashi stepped backward and flailed as he stumbled over a dog.

"Sorry, sorry," Bull mumbled and slunk away.

"I was saying that... dinner is ready," Kakashi said.

"I thought you said something about my butt." Iruka laughed lightly. Kakashi stared at the merry twinkle of his eyes, transfixed, and then fled to the kitchen.

Dinner was mostly silent, because Kakashi had absolutely nothing to say that would sound cool or urbane. For the very first time in his strange life, he wished he really _was_ like the character of Kishu, with a teasing smile on the corners of his mouth as he put his hand near Iruka's on the table, probably letting his fingers brush against those strong brown ones. If he was anything close to Kishu, he would probably have Iruka in his bed tonight, touching his body with sure fingers. And, Kakashi thought darkly, if he was _truly_ like Kishu, tomorrow would see a different person in his bed.

He grabbed the fingers that touched his own, a reflexive move that was a prelude to actually breaking those appendages before they could harm him. He relaxed when he realized he was just holding Iruka's hand... and then tensed up as it hit him that he was _holding Iruka's hand_.

"You looked a little upset," Iruka said in a low voice as he stared at their joined fingers. "Is everything alright?"

Kakashi nodded and tried to pull his hand away, but Iruka held on, smiling slightly. Kakashi felt completely awkward, sitting there with one hand stretched across the table, gripping Iruka's, but Iruka went back to eating and after a moment, he did as well. Iruka didn't let go until he rose from the table and bowed at Kakashi; he did the dishes, casting his gaze around Kakashi's apartment. Kakashi watched him, petting a couple of the dogs and smiling a little under his mask. Iruka looked comfortable in his house.

"I will follow you home," Kakashi offered after Iruka thanked him again. Iruka waited for him at the door, and they walked slowly to Iruka's housing block. All along the way, Kakashi agonized over if he should kiss Iruka good-night or not. Actually, had they been on a date? Kakashi really had no idea.

"May I ask you a question?" Iruka asked quietly.

"You just did," Kakashi answered automatically and wished he could kick his own ass. "I mean, I guess so." He thought a little more. "I will answer it if I can."

"Was this a date?"

"Oh, you don't know either?" Kakashi exclaimed. "Thank goodness."

Iruka's laughter pealed through the quiet streets, so much so that the shopkeepers who were pulling down their shutters looked out inquisitively. Kakashi hunched his shoulders a little, looking at Iruka's amused face.

"I think it was," Iruka mused. "It was a lot different from what I thought it would be." He glanced at Kakashi. "You're a lot different."

"Not like Kishu, right?" Kakashi asked tonelessly. Maybe Iruka-sensei _liked_ that kind of person.

"No." Iruka's hand brushed against his. "That's a good thing, by the way."

"Oh."

They were in front of Iruka's apartment in a few moments, and Kakashi scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Iruka was standing in front of his opened door, his arms folded into the wide sleeves of his yukata, just looking up at Kakashi.

"Well. Good--" Kakashi stopped suddenly, because Iruka had stepped forward and pressed his lips against Kakashi's mouth, on top of the mask. Kakashi's hands made discomfited arcs in the air around Iruka's body, not sure where to rest. Iruka pulled back, frowning a little.

"Hmm."

"Was that alright?" Kakashi asked faintly.

"No, that was kind of horrible," Iruka admitted and then grinned. "I think we need to try again." He pulled Kakashi inside his apartment and closed the door, pushing Kakashi into the shadowed corner beside it. He pinched at the chin of Kakashi's mask and gave Kakashi a very questioning look; he hadn't turned on the lights, but the moonlight was strong enough to fall on his face.

Kakashi nodded and Iruka tugged down the material, slowly. Kakashi watched as he closed his eyes, his fingers confidently mapping the contours of Kakashi's face; Kakashi hoped his stubble wasn't too prickly, he hadn't shaved since yesterday. Iruka came close again, his warm breath falling lightly on Kakashi's lips before his own mouth followed, a slow intoxicating touch that set Kakashi's head to spinning. He moaned softly as Iruka's tongue licked at his lips and he parted them, slanting his mouth against Iruka's slowly and savouring the kiss.

"Oh. Wow," he breathed as Iruka pulled ever so slightly back. "Can... will I see you again tomorrow?" he asked nonsensically, his lips brushing against Iruka's; he felt Iruka's mouth move into a smile.

"We'll see when we'll see," Iruka said mysteriously, but he kissed Kakashi again.

_fin_


End file.
